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<h2>Commissioner ^P1 Leaves Consortium</h2>

Commissioner ^P1 has announced a withdrawl from the Consortium. In a prepared statement, the ^C1 Citizens Board for Official Information announced that the Commissioner has accepted duties offered by the Rome-based Instutita TransGlobal SpA. "The Commissioner will be hyper-linking, in areas completely unrelated to local politics. "It was a great opportunity, a once-in-a-lifetime shot. The Commissioner chose to take it, that settles it," said the board. 
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Sylvester Moron, who recently moved to ^C1, was angry. "You move here, then this happens. It makes it hard to program the VCR." Long-term resident Ida Mahoney was more philosophical. "It’s happened before, it’ll happen again. Believe me, sometimes it’s better without politicians."
