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<h2>^C1 Safest City In Country, Polls Show</h2>

The crime rate in ^C1 was .0004 percent of the median rate for comparable population sizes, reported the Bureau of Niggling Facts yesterday. "There hasn't been a murder, or even a violent crime for that matter, in ^C1 since Hattie Churchmouse rapped Henry Pigbuckle on the temple with a butter churn handle in '04, and he died more of a hurt spirit than of malicious intent," said Police Chief Ring O. Saturn.
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The townfolk are known for leaving their keys in their cars, their wallets in restaurants, and their good sense at home. Everybody hopes things stay that way.