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<h2>Mystery Museum Razed</h2>
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A massive fire consumed the Museum of Natural Mystery two days ago, leaving only questions in its wake. The museum was constructed in 1937 but never opened to the public. The building was always thought to be made of solid granite, but the fire revealed it to be made of papier mache, balsa wood, and what appeared to be oat cereal. Mr. Idon Giveagoshdurn, the building's curator, answered all questions with a curt, "The paradoxes of life are quite uncanny." 
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When pressed to explain the apparent incomprehensibility of his remark, the curator plucked off his hat and bent over, revealing his bald head, tatooed with tiny images of Teddy Roosevelt riding a polo pony. No investigation of the museum or the tatooed head is expected.