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<h2>Big Whoopdeedoo For ^C1 Founding</h2>
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There was music in the air (and Groucho masks on the faces of local trendsetting venture capitalists) in ^C1 today, as the city celebrated its official founding day. The city's first commissioner, ^P1, was visibly moved (about four inches) when he gave the keynote address at Thumbdrill Park yesterday. "This city has much to be proud of: our coordinated traffic signals are the only ones in the land to play the 1812 Overture during the yellow phase. And we have the only high school gymnasium in the state built completely underground."
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Before ^C1 was founded, Commissioner ^P1 was best known for being a shoe salesman with a glove fetish.